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  • Pastor John

Forget Pink and Blue

Forget the pink and blue; there is a new phenomenon in parenting and it is called “theybies”— raising children who are gender neutral.

Julie and Nate Sharpe have garnered national attention when NBC reported their decision to keep their children’s gender up in the air until their children decide whether to be a boy or a girl. The reason, they feel, is that this way they are protected from harmful gender stereotypes and allows them the freedom to “self-identify” who they want to be.

I call it an assault on God’s gift of gender and child abuse.

As parents, our job is to nurture and care for the children God has graciously given us. Part of that care includes providing clarity and teaching children the truth about reality. To deny a child the basic understanding of who they are is not helpful but extremely harmful to their development.

What is so sad though, is that these parents know the gender of their children. Every time they change their diapers and at every bath time, the gender of their child is clearly perceived.

But their children don’t know who they are and many pediatricians agree that this will do significant damage to their lives.

And for that, I grieve.

Jesus spoke severely about those who would cause little ones to stumble (Luke 17:2) and for that, I fear for the parents.

Gender is not fluid as some assert nor can we decide if we are a male or female. We are who we are because God has created us that way.

God has the final say on gender because He created humanity in His own image and created them “male and female” (Gen. 1:27).

Gender is binary because God defines it as such.

As I looked more into this story and the “theybie” movement, it is very easy to see that this has hardly anything to do with the welfare of the child and everything to do with the parents. In all the rhetoric about the harm of gender stereotypes foisted upon the children from society, the parents have imposed their own abstract and destructive confusion about gender on helpless kids.

This is not rooted in progressive tolerance rather it is in the ancient and pernicious sin of man’s autonomy. In other words, man determines his own reality and it is the arbiter of truth.

This is man’s fundamental problem—we think we have the authority to do such things when Scripture clearly teaches that God alone has the right to define His own creation.

God’s design for gender is beautiful. Both men and women are equally valued by God and have intrinsic worth. Christianity alone is the only worldview that is consistent on gender equality.

Yet equality doesn’t necessarily mean sameness. Men and women are different and that is okay. The differences between genders are not meant to be viewed as a threat rather they are to be celebrated as a gift.

Yet not according to the Sharpe family and those who promote this new type of parenting. Gender definitions and differences are unsafe and should be avoided at all cost.

I wonder what is going to happen when their children are with other kids on the playground and the question is raised “are you a boy or a girl?” and they won’t be able to answer it. How are they going to feel when the parents they look to for guidance will not give them a clear answer but instead are woefully ambiguous.

I tell you how they are going to feel: they are going to feel ashamed and confused because they will not know the basic truth about their own bodies.

For parents to willfully conceal, distort or confuse their own children about reality is abusive regardless if it is widely accepted as an innovative parenting.

Let us be okay with boys being boys and girls being girls for the sake of the children, please.

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